When you are going through divorce or separation, it is not only your relationship that changes. Friendships can shift too, sometimes quietly and sometimes painfully. People you expected to be there may feel distant, while others step up in unexpected ways. This can leave you questioning who still feels safe, supportive and steady at a time when you most need connection.
This blog is part of a mini‑series by Claire Macklin, divorce and breakup coach, created in collaboration with Amicus Law, which explores the process of taking stock of your friendships with kindness and honesty. Rather than making rushed decisions, this is about noticing how different relationships make you feel, giving yourself permission to let some change, and gently creating space for the connections that support who you are now. The reflections below are offered to help you do this at your own pace, with compassion for yourself and others.
When life changes, friendships often do too. Here are a few ways to help you take stock, kindly and at your own pace:
Be aware of your feelings when you are in others’ company
Start to notice how you feel when you are with your friends. Do you come away feeling energised, uplifted, supported, or drained, insecure, depressed? Make a list of your “Radiator Friends” – those people who are steady, kind and give you energy. Lean into those relationships, and give yourself permission to step back from those who leave you feeling judged, depleted or caught up in drama.
Reconnect with old friends
There may be people from earlier chapters of your life who were fun, supportive, or easy to be around. Perhaps you could reach out – even a short message can be enough to reopen a door.
Explore new opportunities
Think about what you enjoy, or what you’ve been curious about for a while, and look for ways to meet others through shared interests. A club, an evening class, a volunteering opportunity can all create natural ways to connect. A year from now, you may be surprised by how many new faces feel familiar. And it can be freeing to be known only for who you are now.
Set yourself small challenges
If expanding your social world feels daunting, keep it manageable. One message sent, one new activity tried, one invitation extended – take small steps. You don’t need to do everything all at once.
Try not to take changes personally
Friendships often shift during times of change. Some people step forward in wonderful ways that surprise you, while others pull back because they don’t know what to say, or because your situation touches on their own fears. As painful as it can be, these changes are not reflections of you or your worth.
Whether you need emotional support, practical guidance or legal advice, help is available.
You can speak to Claire Macklin for coaching support around separation and rebuilding, or contact the Amicus Law Family Team for clear, professional family law advice.
