Facing Christmas Day Alone After Divorce: Mindset Shifts That Can Help
Christmas after separation or divorce can be emotionally and practically challenging. This blog is part of a mini-series by Claire Macklin, divorce and breakup coach, created in collaboration with Amicus Law, to support you through the festive period with clarity and reassurance.
“I’m 62 and recently divorced. I’m dreading Christmas Day. My grown-up children are all doing their own thing, and I know I’m going to feel lonely and miserable. They’ve asked me to visit them on the 28th, but it just isn’t the same.” – M
Being on your own on Christmas Day can be tough, and it would be really easy for M to fall into feeling down.
How you think about an experience shapes how you feel about it. When you change your thoughts, you change your feelings, and this will change your actions.
If M can reframe her thoughts, even slightly, she’ll give herself more choices about how she feels.
Here are 3 mindset shifts that could help:
Look at Christmas as a season, not a single day
If Christmas is a season, what other rituals and events could M focus on? Could she and her family have a 2nd Christmas day on the 28th?
Focus on what you CAN do, not what you can’t
What could M do this year that she couldn’t do before? Take a long walk, watch a movie marathon, eat beans on toast in her pyjamas? Could she invite other single friends over for a joint Christmas Day?
Remind yourself you CAN handle this
Shift your thoughts from hopelessness to capability – “Although I will be on my own on Christmas Day, I will handle it”. Look back at all the hard things you have already coped with and remind yourself that you CAN do hard things.
Changing how you think and talk to yourself won’t magically fix everything, but it can change how you feel, and that will change your experience.
Whether you need emotional support, practical guidance or legal advice, help is available.
You can speak to Claire Macklin for coaching support around separation and rebuilding, or contact the Amicus Law Family Team for clear, professional family law advice.