Christmas after separation or divorce can be emotionally and practically challenging. This blog is part of a mini-series by Claire Macklin, divorce and breakup coach, created in collaboration with Amicus Law, to support you through the festive period with clarity and reassurance.
Over the last few days, I’ve spoken to several clients worried about whether their Christmas plans for their separated families are “right”:
- One plans to spend Christmas with their ex because they still get on, and it works for the kids.
- Another has planned a solo holiday over the time her children are with their dad and is worried people will judge her for it.
- And another is planning a slow, cosy morning at home with beans on toast for lunch but is worried people will think it’s “weird.”
All three have spoken to friends or family who have questioned their decisions. My answer to all three has been the same:
There is no “right” or “wrong” here. What matters most is what works for your family, not what others expect, or believe to be “normal”.
Instead of worrying what others might think, shift your focus onto the atmosphere you want to create, and the experience you want to give your children, not the “rules” you feel under pressure to follow.
Remember, other peoples’ reactions are rarely about your choices; they are about their view of the world. When friends and family question your decisions, those questions reflect their own beliefs, expectations or fears about what Christmas “should” look like. You know your family best, and you get to create Christmas in a way that fits your family, even if it surprises or confuses others.
Whether you need emotional support, practical guidance or legal advice, help is available.
You can speak to Claire Macklin for coaching support around separation and rebuilding, or contact the Amicus Law Family Team for clear, professional family law advice.